How to Tell if You Should Seek Marriage Counseling

Loving somebody will never be all sunshine and rainbows. While there are many beautiful moments in relationships, experiencing difficult moments is completely normal, as well. Maybe you and your spouse have been struggling to come to a compromise. Perhaps the two of you are not finding the ability to see eye-to-eye. Or, maybe it feels as though the relationship that was once a safe haven now feels more like a battlefield.

If you are reading this article, chances are high that you and your spouse have found yourselves at odds and wondering if you need professional help finding your way back to each other. Couple’s therapy can be a great tool for helping you do just that.

A healthy, long-lasting marriage takes lots of work and effort. If your marriage has been struggling, part of that effort needed may include marriage counseling. That is why, in this article, we will be providing you with ways to tell if you and your partner need marriage counseling.

Your Communication is Struggling

Many people struggle to communicate effectively, which can cause a multitude of problems in a relationship. Maybe your “discussions” turn more into a shouting match. Perhaps one of you finds yourself feeling defensive with every mention of your partner’s issues with the relationship. Or maybe the silent treatment is preventing the two of you from moving forward with your problem.

Miscommunication, or a lack of any communication at all can have detrimental effects on trust, intimacy, and love in a relationship. Unfortunately, many of us did not learn healthy communication skills. Marriage counselors can assess your relationship and communication styles. Based on what they learn, they can then teach you those valuable communication skills that will allow you to express your concerns and hear your partner's concerns, as well. These skills will benefit you in every relationship you encounter.

One of You Is Beginning to Show Indifference Toward the Relationship

If you or your partner have reached the point of showing little to no care toward the relationship, it may be time to seek counseling. This can include:

Not caring when your partner is upset
Becoming disconnected from their personal life
Not expressing their thoughts or concerns
Living parallel lives
Putting no effort into the relationship

Trust Has Been Broken

Trust is a critical part of a relationship. Maybe one of you has been lying. Perhaps there has been some infidelity. Or maybe you are struggling to open up with each other about certain things. Either way, trust and openness are crucial to keeping emotional intimacy alive.

If trust has been broken, counseling can help you and your partner decide how to move forward and properly discuss the deeper issues in your relationship. Having a mediator to help guide the discussion about dishonesty can help keep it productive.

You Struggle to Solve Arguments About Important Decisions

Finances, parenting, career, and other significant life choices are crucial to discuss together as a team. However, when the two of you are struggling to come to agree on huge decisions, your relationship may begin to suffer.

When you are single or in a new relationship, these issues may not seem like something you would ever have to discuss with each other. However, when your relationship becomes serious, both of your opinions on important life decisions must come to align.

However, no matter how much you and your partner may have in common, it is difficult to come to an easy agreement on everything. You are two separate people with differing views, perspectives, and opinions.

Sometimes, a counselor can be a valuable tool in seeing each other’s point of view, allowing the both of you to come to a compromise on big life decisions that will keep your marriage strong and trusting.

Past Arguments Continue to Arise

Every relationship faces significant issues that are difficult to solve. This could be because one partner is struggling to move forward from their pain, both partners have struggled to come to a solution regarding the problem, or one of many other reasons. Couple’s therapy may be just what you and your partner need in order to resolve a longstanding problem in your relationship, allowing you to move forward and rebuild your healthy, happy safe haven.

You’ve Experienced a Significant Life Change

Big life changes like having a baby, moving to a new place, or significant changes in your career will have a huge impact on both of you and ultimately, your relationship. Having the ability to navigate these life changes as a team will be critical.

Sometimes, though, your relationship may need some professional guidance when it comes to navigating these changes. In therapy, you will be given the opportunity to discuss your feelings about the change with each other and learn coping techniques for moments when life becomes difficult.

You Are No Longer Working as a Team

Does it feel like you versus your partner lately? A healthy relationship should allow your partner and you to work as a team. However, sometimes we can fall into a pattern of seeing each other as the villain. Counseling can help you and your spouse become a team again.

One or Both of You Are Feeling Neglected

The beginning of a relationship is normally dripping in emotional passion and physical intimacy, allowing the two of you to feel loved, supported, and attractive. However, after some time together, it is not uncommon to feel that passion and intimacy begin to fizzle out.

Intimacy is crucial for keeping the spark alive. However, it takes effort to maintain it. If you or your partner are feeling neglected in any part of your relationship, resentment may begin to arise. This can cause a number of issues, like increased arguments or indifference toward the relationship. A marriage counselor can help the two of you discuss the ways you are feeling neglected by each other and figure out a solution to ignite the passion again.

You Are Experiencing Feelings of Resentment Toward Each Other

Past hurts, miscommunication, outsider’s opinions, and many other things in life can cause resentment to build in a relationship. This can be devastating to your marriage, leading to disinterest, a lack of effort, dishonesty, and many other problems in the relationship.

Sometimes, those feelings of resentment can be solved with an effective discussion. You and your partner need to have the ability to communicate and problem-solve together. This will allow you two to break down the walls of resentment and rebuild your trust and intimacy. A marriage therapist can be a great mediator for that discussion, keeping it productive and healthy.

You Have Decided to Separate

Marriage counseling is not only useful for couples who are looking to rebuild their relationship. It can help those who have decided to go their separate ways do so in a healthy, effective way. Whether you and your partner have kids and would like to build a healthy co-parenting relationship after divorce or would simply like some guidance on parting ways amicably, couple’s therapy can help you do so.

We Are Here for You

Relationships require lots of effort, communication, time, and love. When your relationship is struggling, seeking outside solutions may be invaluable for keeping the love alive. Marriage counseling can be a great tool for solving issues in a multitude of areas of your relationship.

If you and your partner need couple’s therapy, we are here for you. Our educated and caring counselors will work with you and your partner to get to the bottom of the problem and solve them together. Contact us today.

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8176605/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7894569/

Keywords: marriage counseling, couple’s therapy, counselor, healthy relationship